Pet Peeve of the Day:
People who swallow their beverages loudly.
Explanation:
You may think this is silly. But I am dead serious. This is not a small annoyance. This is not a thing you can shrug off and tell me I'm being too sensitive... If I can hear you swallowing your coffee across a 6 foot-long table, you are swallowing too loudly. Unless you're sucking down a milkshake, which sometimes - depending on the thickness - requires some extra oomph, I have no tolerance. If you're drinking anything that is not the slightest bit diluted when put through a soup strainer, you do not have to use all of the energy in your body to swallow. Some of these beverages include, but are not limited to, water, soda, coffee, juice, etc.
Now, I am not a monster. There are a few exception to this rule. They are as follows: 1) If you have recently been intubated for any reason... After extubation, you have to perform a swallow test. So if you have not been cleared to swallow thin liquids - thus, requiring you to use a lot of force and control when you swallow - you get a hall pass. 2) If you are ill... When you have a cold, sometimes your throat becomes raw. I understand this. When you're sick, sometimes swallowing sucks, and you just want the liquid to take a different route down your throat so you swallow often and weirdly. You get a hall pass. 3) If you just swallowed a box of razor blades... I personally don't know why you'd want to swallow anything after you swallow a box of razor blades, but, sure, you get a hall pass. 4)... That's all I've got. If I'm missing something, feel free to enlighten me in the comments section.
People who swallow their beverages loudly.
Explanation:
You may think this is silly. But I am dead serious. This is not a small annoyance. This is not a thing you can shrug off and tell me I'm being too sensitive... If I can hear you swallowing your coffee across a 6 foot-long table, you are swallowing too loudly. Unless you're sucking down a milkshake, which sometimes - depending on the thickness - requires some extra oomph, I have no tolerance. If you're drinking anything that is not the slightest bit diluted when put through a soup strainer, you do not have to use all of the energy in your body to swallow. Some of these beverages include, but are not limited to, water, soda, coffee, juice, etc.
Now, I am not a monster. There are a few exception to this rule. They are as follows: 1) If you have recently been intubated for any reason... After extubation, you have to perform a swallow test. So if you have not been cleared to swallow thin liquids - thus, requiring you to use a lot of force and control when you swallow - you get a hall pass. 2) If you are ill... When you have a cold, sometimes your throat becomes raw. I understand this. When you're sick, sometimes swallowing sucks, and you just want the liquid to take a different route down your throat so you swallow often and weirdly. You get a hall pass. 3) If you just swallowed a box of razor blades... I personally don't know why you'd want to swallow anything after you swallow a box of razor blades, but, sure, you get a hall pass. 4)... That's all I've got. If I'm missing something, feel free to enlighten me in the comments section.
