What do you need?

I love college students. I love challenging them. I love giving them the opportunity to look at their own lives and their relationships with God, and examine what's going on. Plus, I'm good at it... Please understand, I am not being cocky or arrogant. But, for the first time in my professional career, I feel like I am good at what I do.

I was a college student myself a few years ago. I've been where they've been. I was mentored, I was loved, I was challenged. And I am who I am today because someone taught me how to grow closer to the Lord, how to ask the important questions, and how to discover who I was created to be. This changed my life. So, now, I want to change lives. I have a lot to teach.

That's why I love my job so much. I get to teach. One avenue thru which I am able to do this is by doing a devotional each week in my staff meeting. Last week, I wrote about the journaling exercise we did in our staff meeting. It was great to get the chance to reflect on where I was at, and I heard largely the same thing from the rest of the staff. We were actually supposed to do two exercises, but the first one took off on legs of its own, as these things should, so we didn't get around to it. This week, our agenda was a little light and, since there was such a good response last week, I thought it would be a good idea to do journal exercise #2.

I started by reading the following passage found in A Guide to Prayer:

"I do need thee, Lord. I need thee now. I know that I can do without many of the things that once I thought were necesities, but without thee I cannot live, and I dare not die.

I needed thee when sorrow came, when shadows were thrown across the threshold of my life, and thou didst not fail me then. I needed thee when sickness laid a clammy hand upon my family, and I cried to thee, and thou didst hear. I needed thee when perplexity brought me to a parting of the ways, and I knew not how to turn. Thou didst not fail me then, but in many ways, big and litte, didst indicate the better way. And though the sun is shining around me today, I know that I need thee even in the sunshine, and shall still need thee tomorrow.

I give thee my gratitude for that constant sense of need that keeps me close to thy side. Help me to keep my hand in thine and my ears open to the wisdom of thy voice.

Speak to me, that I may hear thee giving me courage for hard times and strength for difficult places; giving me determination for challenging tasks. I ask thee no easy way, but just thy grace that is sufficient for every need, so that no matter how hard the way, how challenging the hour, how dark the sky, I may be enabled to overcome.

In thy strength, who has overcome the world, I make this prayer. Amen." ~ From The Prayers of Peter Marshall edited by Catherine Marshall

What do you need? I feel like the church, as a whole, has taught us that prayer is like walking a fine line... You must praise, you must thank, and you can ask for things but be sure not to ask for too much... We are almost conditioned to think that having needs is wrong. But needing things is not complaining. I have legitimate needs. But I have a problem - I don't like needing things from other people, even God. I like being independent. I like being self-sustaining, which is a funny concept because I cannot function without the people I have in my life or without the Lord, who sustains me. But, somehow, I have fooled myself into thinking that I can do it all by myself.

Here is what I wrote and shared with my staff:

I need to remember who You are. I need to remember that You are good, that You know the way I take. I need to remember that if I feel far from You, it is because I have moved. I need to relinquish control. And I need to remember that I didn't really have much control to begin with... I need to trust You. I need to remember my favorite verse: "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly beyond all that we ask or think according to the power that works within us" (Eph. 3:20)... I need to know if everything will be ok, and, if it won't, to believe that You are beside me... When I think about all the things I need, I find that it all boils down to: I need thee, Lord. I need thee now.

What do you need?