Anonymous

"If indeed it be necessary, O Lord, to bury the workman that my work may be finished by other hands, help me never to think of myself as indispensable. May I be content to die with my work undone, knowing that my task is to work at the fulfillment of thy purposes, not to work them out." --Anonymous

Why would you not sign your name to something as beautiful as this? It moves me. It speaks to where I am at... My work in the last few months at Vanguard may be finished by other hands. This hurts. It pains me so much to think about it, that I have spent almost four weeks now forcing away the thoughts when they come. In the last week though, I have tried to sink into this pain, to talk about it, to pray it. I have been straining to hear something in response, something to comfort me, to give me hope and encouragement. And this gorgeous passage says all I have been trying to hear... It is my task to work at the fulfillment of God's purposes; it is not my job to work them out. He never promised me forever. He put me here for a short season, to bless me, to grow me, to change me. And it worked. I am changed. I am changed because of a few short months I spent being deliriously happy in my career... I just hope it does not end here.

That word... Anonymous... That is one of my worst fears right now. I am afraid that I will leave this place and become a ghost, a bitter shell of the person I once was, with unfinished business that I cannot bear to leave behind... Tomorrow I will be fine. Tomorrow I will be fresh with the glow of a woman who follows the Lord and supports her husband. But tonight... Tonight, I am afraid. I am afraid I am losing a piece of myself when I leave.

That is what the Lord has called me to though, right? I can only find Him by dying to myself. He didn't say it would be easy. He didn't say that it wouldn't be frightening. He didn't say it wouldn't hurt... But He did say that He'd be with me.