I had three days in my new home before Chris and I were headed North for the holidays. It was filled with highs and lows, excitement and sadness.
The Low Point
The day Jaime left was actually a lot harder for me than I expected it to be. Well, actually, the day wasn't so bad... I'll explain... After the airport debaucle, I caught up on some sleep and Chris and I spent the day watching several episodes of The West Wing. That evening, we made an appearance at the women's basketball game at his school before going out to dinner to find some place to watch the Cowboy game since we don't get the NFL Network at home. We went to four different places before we found a restaurant that showed the game, wasn't too crowded, and could actually give us a table...
Then, sitting there at dinner, it hits me - I miss Jaime. I miss her so much it's hard to breathe. I try not to start crying because we're in a crowded place, but I tell Chris that I'm having a hard time without her being there and I can't hold the tears back. The day before, when I was exploring the mall and the town with her, this place seemed all right. It seemed ok. It seemed bearable. But then, she's gone, and this place is foreign and weird and new, and I don't know how to live in it without her. I don't say any of this out loud. I just sit there lamely, trying desperately to stop crying, trying to open my closed throat so air can pass through it. And Chris is just staring pathetically at this sad person in front of him, probably wondering how to help or how to make this all better for me.
That was the low point.
The High Point
The next day was better. Christmas was just around the corner. Chris and I really love Christmas. We spent the remaining 2 days shopping for family members, sneaking off and shopping for one another, and wrapping Christmas presents. I usually don't really enjoy wrapping. It has taken a lot of years to actually hone my wrapping skills, but now I feel like I am fairly accomplished at it. I even sent Chris out to watch football the night before we left for the holidays so I could wrap presents and blast some Christmas tunes. I think one of the reasons we looked forward to this particular holiday season so much is because we would get to see our family, including Jaime, again in just a few short days.
I still have a lot of town to explore, but it gets easier as the days pass. Once I get a job too, I think that my purpose here will increase beyond that of the faithful and loving wife, which I still love and which comes with its own purpose and sense of fulfillment.
Our holiday plans included driving to Chris' grandparents' farm in Athens, TX for Christmas, then driving from Athens to Dallas on the 27th to spend the remainder of the holidays, including New Years, with my dad's side of the family. I will tell all about that time in the next post. Stay tuned.
The Low Point
The day Jaime left was actually a lot harder for me than I expected it to be. Well, actually, the day wasn't so bad... I'll explain... After the airport debaucle, I caught up on some sleep and Chris and I spent the day watching several episodes of The West Wing. That evening, we made an appearance at the women's basketball game at his school before going out to dinner to find some place to watch the Cowboy game since we don't get the NFL Network at home. We went to four different places before we found a restaurant that showed the game, wasn't too crowded, and could actually give us a table...
Then, sitting there at dinner, it hits me - I miss Jaime. I miss her so much it's hard to breathe. I try not to start crying because we're in a crowded place, but I tell Chris that I'm having a hard time without her being there and I can't hold the tears back. The day before, when I was exploring the mall and the town with her, this place seemed all right. It seemed ok. It seemed bearable. But then, she's gone, and this place is foreign and weird and new, and I don't know how to live in it without her. I don't say any of this out loud. I just sit there lamely, trying desperately to stop crying, trying to open my closed throat so air can pass through it. And Chris is just staring pathetically at this sad person in front of him, probably wondering how to help or how to make this all better for me.
That was the low point.
The High Point
The next day was better. Christmas was just around the corner. Chris and I really love Christmas. We spent the remaining 2 days shopping for family members, sneaking off and shopping for one another, and wrapping Christmas presents. I usually don't really enjoy wrapping. It has taken a lot of years to actually hone my wrapping skills, but now I feel like I am fairly accomplished at it. I even sent Chris out to watch football the night before we left for the holidays so I could wrap presents and blast some Christmas tunes. I think one of the reasons we looked forward to this particular holiday season so much is because we would get to see our family, including Jaime, again in just a few short days.
I still have a lot of town to explore, but it gets easier as the days pass. Once I get a job too, I think that my purpose here will increase beyond that of the faithful and loving wife, which I still love and which comes with its own purpose and sense of fulfillment.
Our holiday plans included driving to Chris' grandparents' farm in Athens, TX for Christmas, then driving from Athens to Dallas on the 27th to spend the remainder of the holidays, including New Years, with my dad's side of the family. I will tell all about that time in the next post. Stay tuned.
1 comment:
Thank you so much for sharing this Mando. Praying for you love.
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