These Are My Confessions

"Just when I thought I said all I could say..."

• I am addicted to mall Chinese food.
• I love cheap coffee from those little automated coffee machines at the gas station. Anything along the lines of a French Vanilla Cappucino. If I ordered the real thing in Starbucks (which I never have, interestingly enough), I'd probably hate it.
• I cheat on crossword puzzles. And not really hard ones like the NY Times crossword puzzles. Like People Magazine's crossword puzzles... But it's only after I tried to complete it on my own, honest.
• I check my Facebook at work. Don't you?
• I don't mind going to movies by myself. Sometimes I prefer it. If I go to the movies with other people, depending on how comfortable I am with them, I am always wondering if they think the movie is funny, sad, terrible, etc. If it's me and a bunch of strangers, I couldn't care less.
• This month, I have spent an exorbitant amount of money on books (less than $100, don't get too judgy here), much to the chagrin of my husband. He thinks I should buy ebooks. I tell him to buy me an iPad. He shakes his head and doesn't say anything after that.
• It bothers me and simultaneously amuses me that I can use words like "exorbitant" and "chagrin" in the same sentence that I use "judgy," which isn't even a word.
• I love words. I have always loved words. I love big words, I love weird words. I would say that I have never met a word that I didn't like, but it's not true. I hate the word "moist."

What are some of your confessions?

Pet Peeve

Pet Peeve of the Day:
People who swallow their beverages loudly.

Explanation:
You may think this is silly. But I am dead serious. This is not a small annoyance. This is not a thing you can shrug off and tell me I'm being too sensitive... If I can hear you swallowing your coffee across a 6 foot-long table, you are swallowing too loudly. Unless you're sucking down a milkshake, which sometimes - depending on the thickness - requires some extra oomph, I have no tolerance. If you're drinking anything that is not the slightest bit diluted when put through a soup strainer, you do not have to use all of the energy in your body to swallow. Some of these beverages include, but are not limited to, water, soda, coffee, juice, etc.

Now, I am not a monster. There are a few exception to this rule. They are as follows: 1) If you have recently been intubated for any reason... After extubation, you have to perform a swallow test. So if you have not been cleared to swallow thin liquids - thus, requiring you to use a lot of force and control when you swallow - you get a hall pass. 2) If you are ill... When you have a cold, sometimes your throat becomes raw. I understand this. When you're sick, sometimes swallowing sucks, and you just want the liquid to take a different route down your throat so you swallow often and weirdly. You get a hall pass. 3) If you just swallowed a box of razor blades... I personally don't know why you'd want to swallow anything after you swallow a box of razor blades, but, sure, you get a hall pass. 4)... That's all I've got. If I'm missing something, feel free to enlighten me in the comments section.