(I Hate) Tumors

At my home church in California, there is a little girl struggling with a malignant brain tumor. I saw some news footage taken of her and her sweet family, and I wept. I hate tumors. All tumors. But specifically ones having to do with the brain. It hits too close to home. Almost three years ago, I almost lost my sister to a brain tumor. Fortunately, the ending to Jaime's story is a happy one - one I rejoice in constantly. She is alive and well and is Supermom. I am so grateful for the miracle God did in saving her life.

However, I am struck and saddened by the fact that Jaime's ending is not the same as everyone else's. My grandfather died of brain cancer two years ago. My best friend lost her father to a heart attack. And this little girl I have never met is battling for her life against a malignant brain tumor. There are countless other stories from faceless people I do not know, and my heart breaks for the patients and for their families. I know what they're going through - I've been there too. And I cannot imagine doing it again.

I am not sure I will ever understand why tragedy strikes, why tumors and heart attacks and cancer happens... Why it happens to the people it happens to, or why God saves some and chooses to bring others home to Him... Maybe I'm not supposed to get it. Maybe the growth comes from the process, not from the understanding... I don't know.

I don't have much of a point with this blog post, I don't have a cute picture to display, and right now a clever and concise ending escapes me. So, I'll just end by asking you join me in praying for this little girl and for the people in your life who are struggling and battling and trying desperately to live. That is all. Thanks.

Love (and the Royal Wedding)

I could choose to be cynical. It's not hard - I usually am. I could be really critical and slightly bitter. I could be righteous and judgmental. I could scoff and roll my eyes. But I have a choice. And I choose love.

This week something happened in Britain. (I like saying Britain instead of England because I think it sounds better and more pretentious, and I like pretension sometimes.) I don't know the whole story. I only know what I have read. And I take everything the media says with a grain of salt because I don't actually know these people - though I'd like to - and I don't know if what is reported is actual truth. But I'd like to believe it is.

This weekend, two people got married on TV. Two people who seemed very much in love, and very much aware of what they were getting themselves into. Over two billion people tuned in to watch in person, on television, and online. I was one of these people. I was glued to the TV for hours, watching two people I have never met and will most likely never meet recite vows, pledge their love to one another, kiss, and wave... A lot.

I did this because I believe in love. I believe that we as humans are capable of greatness. I believe that we are created to change lives and to change each another. And, mostly, I believe we are created to love each another.

I think this wedding is a great love story. I don't know them, but I wish them well. I wish that they will experience joy and growth and love and happiness and the simple and ordinary things that can only come after you commit to share your life with someone else. It's a real love story. Yes, one of them is a prince, and the other is the woman who fell for him and who he fell for in return, so the ordinary part might feel different than most. And yes their wedding was lavish and extravagant and humongous. But it makes me happy. And in this bitter world full of cynicism, criticism, bitterness, and devastation, I think we are all entitled to a day like this.

Cheers to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge! I wish you every happiness. And thanks for the chance to look back on my own wedding and marriage and feel truly blessed. I can only hope that you will be as happy as I am.

These Are My Confessions

"Just when I thought I said all I could say..."

• I am addicted to mall Chinese food.
• I love cheap coffee from those little automated coffee machines at the gas station. Anything along the lines of a French Vanilla Cappucino. If I ordered the real thing in Starbucks (which I never have, interestingly enough), I'd probably hate it.
• I cheat on crossword puzzles. And not really hard ones like the NY Times crossword puzzles. Like People Magazine's crossword puzzles... But it's only after I tried to complete it on my own, honest.
• I check my Facebook at work. Don't you?
• I don't mind going to movies by myself. Sometimes I prefer it. If I go to the movies with other people, depending on how comfortable I am with them, I am always wondering if they think the movie is funny, sad, terrible, etc. If it's me and a bunch of strangers, I couldn't care less.
• This month, I have spent an exorbitant amount of money on books (less than $100, don't get too judgy here), much to the chagrin of my husband. He thinks I should buy ebooks. I tell him to buy me an iPad. He shakes his head and doesn't say anything after that.
• It bothers me and simultaneously amuses me that I can use words like "exorbitant" and "chagrin" in the same sentence that I use "judgy," which isn't even a word.
• I love words. I have always loved words. I love big words, I love weird words. I would say that I have never met a word that I didn't like, but it's not true. I hate the word "moist."

What are some of your confessions?

Pet Peeve

Pet Peeve of the Day:
People who swallow their beverages loudly.

Explanation:
You may think this is silly. But I am dead serious. This is not a small annoyance. This is not a thing you can shrug off and tell me I'm being too sensitive... If I can hear you swallowing your coffee across a 6 foot-long table, you are swallowing too loudly. Unless you're sucking down a milkshake, which sometimes - depending on the thickness - requires some extra oomph, I have no tolerance. If you're drinking anything that is not the slightest bit diluted when put through a soup strainer, you do not have to use all of the energy in your body to swallow. Some of these beverages include, but are not limited to, water, soda, coffee, juice, etc.

Now, I am not a monster. There are a few exception to this rule. They are as follows: 1) If you have recently been intubated for any reason... After extubation, you have to perform a swallow test. So if you have not been cleared to swallow thin liquids - thus, requiring you to use a lot of force and control when you swallow - you get a hall pass. 2) If you are ill... When you have a cold, sometimes your throat becomes raw. I understand this. When you're sick, sometimes swallowing sucks, and you just want the liquid to take a different route down your throat so you swallow often and weirdly. You get a hall pass. 3) If you just swallowed a box of razor blades... I personally don't know why you'd want to swallow anything after you swallow a box of razor blades, but, sure, you get a hall pass. 4)... That's all I've got. If I'm missing something, feel free to enlighten me in the comments section.

Creativity

Sometimes - a lot of the time - I feel I lack creativity. I'm a details person. I'm an executer and a doer. I'm not a big dreamer or idea man (or woman, whatever). That's why I so admire people who are. Over half of the blogs I follow are super unique and creative and special, and they inspire me. It's people I know doing something they love and it's so artsy and passionate, and it all just makes me happy. Here are just a few of these amazing blogs:

• 31bits.com/blog


• shannonleith.com


• layceelemons.blogspot.com


• fashionablybored.blogspot.com

So, if you're ever feeling uninspired or lackluster, visit these blogs, or search for your own. I'm sure that a lot of people you know and love are super creative and inspiring too.

'Til next time...

Mandy

Get OFF! of me!

Mosquitos suck. Yes, literally, but also figuratively. Every single day I get bitten at least once by these little annoying, blood-sucking pests. Normally, not such a big deal. But ever since I was a kid, growing up summers in Minnesota, my mosquito bites get huge. And I mean HUGE. Another downside of being surrounded by mosquitos, other than the horrible swelling and itching? Public humiliation. Inevitably, you end up looking like a crazy person swatting at the air to try to kill all mosquitos getting ready to dive-bomb.

Now, I haven't seen a mosquito for like five years, so I am out of practice. But South Texas is swarming with them. The worst bites I've had so far? On my cheek, behind my knee, and on my foot. The face one is just unsightly, the other two itched LIKE CRAZY! Suddenly, those commercials advertising the personal OFF! fan that you clip onto your belt doesn't seem so silly. I am seriously considering it.

P.S. In non-mosquito-related news, I had a mole biopsied a couple weeks ago and I am finding out the results this Thursday. Please pray for a good outcome!

Sad Puppy

So every few weeks - or rather, months - I come crawling back to you... Tail between my legs, sad puppy eyes and all... I promised to write you. I promised to do it frequently and fervently. As a result, I have realized that I am either a) lazy, or b) overambitious. I can't decide between the two. I'll leave it to you to decide.

Since we last spoke, the world has kept on spinning, as I knew it would. The first few days back in Texas after being in California were difficult and heartbreaking all over again. But the world didn't end. Chris and I returned to work. Our routine resumed. Time passed... We've gotten slightly more comfortable here, only because time kept passing and because we just kept trudging on. We've visited a few more churches, but haven't settled on one that we love yet. We've both excelled professionally, but simultaneously became frustrated with how things are done here in this foreign land. We never stop missing home. It is like a constant dull ache in our hearts, a forever reminder that we have people we love far away, and we count down until we can see them again - which, by the way, is in only two weeks!!!

I've been reading a lot. Like ridiculously. I think since we last spoke, I've read at least four books. Now, they were not by any means great feats of literature. Rather, they are mindless, fun, or thrilling fiction novels that I can escape to at the end of the day. Incidentally, two of them ended with someone either dying of cancer or a brain tumor. Real nice, right? Jump right into my nightmare, the water is warm... If you have any brain tumor-free book recommendations, please let me know!

Also, about three weeks ago, Chris and I made a conscious decision to get in shape. We started counting our calories and we bought passes to our school's gym, which happens to be only 100 yards from our apartment. We've worked out almost every day since - sometimes twice! I've never really been a gym junkie before, so learning to lift weights and how to work certain muscle groups has been a little interesting. I actually sort of enjoy it. I do at least 30 minutes of cardio each day, which is usually achieved thru about 2 miles on an elyptical machine, and then lift weights for my upper body or lower body, including abs each day. The results have been slower than I would like, but at least I feel better about myself. It harder to eat healthy too, mostly because you just discover how poorly you used to eat before. It has made me wish beyond wishing that I was raised a healthy eater. Sadly, the things I crave are just about the most terrible things for you: potato chips, fries, popcorn, etc. I'm a salty snacker. But I can't eat those things anymore. I've substituted them for more healthy things, and I've learned some great tips from my sister, the Weight Watcher's queen, about good little snacks to fill your appetite between meals.

I have another cool update for you, but it's not really about me... My sister, Jaime, got an MRI for the remaining thumbnail of a tumor left in her brain, which she's done almost every six months since November 2008 to see if it's grown at all. And all is clear! Absolutely no growth at all! Praise God! We actually had an inkling that this was going to be the verdict a few days before because the radiologist gave her his analysis of her scans. But we always wait for her neurosurgeon, Dr. Martin's, final say. Dr. Martin is the be-all, end-all authority in all things Jaime's brain. Dr. Martin graduates. And Dr. Martin cleared Jaime for another year! And Josh sent out a mass text. And I cried... I cry every year. And I will continue to. I will never stop thanking my God for the miracle He did in Jaime.

Well, that's the best I can give you for now. I'll let you know if I think of anything else... Life is pretty average right now. But, nonetheless, life is still being lived. I'm trying to enjoy it more. It sounds weird, but working out has created a new kind of energy in me, and I actually feel very good about myself, regardless of how slowly I see it in the mirror. So, ciao for now. I'll try to be more consistent with my blogging. Really, I will. Even amidst all this averageness.